How to plan a baby shower: the timeline, the menu and who does what
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Plan a baby shower six to eight weeks out: hold it four to eight weeks before the due date, send invitations four weeks ahead, keep it to two or three hours in the early afternoon, and plan 2 drinks per guest in the first hour, 1 after, plus a light lunch or 8-10 bites per person. Ask the parent-to-be about the guest list and registry before anything else.
Showers have more etiquette than most parties, mostly around who hosts and who is invited. This guide covers that, then the checklist, the quantities, a rough budget and a few games that do not make anyone wince.
Who hosts, and when to hold it
Today a close friend, a sibling, a co-worker or a parent can host, and co-hosting is common: two or three people split the work and the cost. What matters is that the host is not the parent-to-be, and that the parent-to-be agrees the guest list.
Aim for four to eight weeks before the due date. Earlier than that and the registry is not ready; later and you are planning around a baby who may arrive early. For twins or a known early delivery, move it forward to about ten weeks before.
Weekend early afternoons work best, roughly 1pm to 4pm. They suit guests with children and a parent-to-be who tires easily.
Week-by-week checklist
If several people are co-hosting, divide this list by name at the first planning call rather than splitting it as you go.
- Eight weeks out: agree the date, the budget and the co-hosts, and get the guest list from the parent-to-be.
- Seven weeks out: choose the venue, often a host's home, a restaurant private room or a community space, and book it.
- Six weeks out: decide whether it is a surprise, pick a theme or palette, and confirm the registry is live.
- Four weeks out: send invitations with the registry link, an RSVP date two weeks out, and a dietary question in the reply.
- Three weeks out: order the cake or dessert, plan the menu, and choose two or three games.
- Two weeks out: chase non-replies, confirm numbers with any caterer, and buy decorations and prizes.
- One week out: confirm bookings in writing, prep anything that keeps, and set up a gift table plan with someone noting who gave what.
- On the day: set up two hours early, keep a comfortable seat for the parent-to-be, and leave 45 minutes for gift opening if they want it.
Food and drink quantities
A shower is usually a daytime party, so the menu leans toward a light lunch or brunch: sandwiches, salads, a quiche, fruit and something sweet. Make the non-alcoholic drinks the main event, since the guest of honour cannot share anything else.
| Item | Per guest | For 20 guests |
|---|---|---|
| Savory bites or sandwich pieces | 8-10 | 160-200 pieces across 5-6 kinds |
| Salad or fruit | 1 cup | 20 cups, two bowls of each |
| Cake, cupcakes or dessert | 1-2 servings | 20 slices plus 15-20 small sweets |
| Drinks (mocktails, lemonade, tea, water) | 3-4 (2 in the first hour, then 1 an hour) | 60-80 drinks |
| Plates | 2 (savory, then sweet) | 40 plates |
| Cups | 2-3 | 40-60 cups |
| Napkins | 3 | 60 napkins |
| Ice | About 1 lb (0.5 kg) | About 20 lb (10 kg) |
Rough budget
Co-hosts usually split the cost evenly, so agree the total and each person's share at the start. The cake and the venue are the two lines that vary most.
| Line item | At home | Restaurant or hired room |
|---|---|---|
| Venue | $0 | $200-$800 or a food minimum |
| Food and drink | $150-$400 | $500-$1,200 |
| Cake or dessert | $50-$150 | $50-$150 |
| Decorations and flowers | $50-$200 | $50-$200 |
| Games, prizes and favours | $30-$100 | $30-$100 |
| Invitations and postage | $0-$60 | $0-$60 |
Games and activities guests enjoy
Two or three short activities are plenty for a shower; more than that and the afternoon feels scripted. Pick ones a guest can join without performing in front of the room.
- Baby photo match: guests bring a baby photo of themselves and everyone guesses whose is whose.
- Advice cards: a card at each seat for advice or a wish for the baby, collected into a small book.
- Guess the due date and weight: a sheet by the door, with a small prize for the closest answer after the birth.
- A onesie or bib decorating table with fabric pens, which doubles as a gift.
- Price is right with registry items, for a group that knows each other less well.
Etiquette that comes up every time
Include the registry link with the invitation; it is now standard and saves a round of questions. Invite only people who will also be invited to meet the baby, which rules out most of a large office.
Thank-you notes are the parent-to-be's job, but the host helps by keeping a list of who gave what as gifts are opened. Send it to them the same evening.
Common questions
When should a baby shower be held?
Four to eight weeks before the due date, usually on a weekend early afternoon. Move it to about ten weeks before for twins or a planned early delivery.
Who is supposed to host a baby shower?
A close friend, a sibling, a co-worker or a parent, and often two or three of them co-hosting. The parent-to-be should agree the guest list but not host.
How long does a baby shower last?
Two to three hours. Allow about 45 minutes of that for opening gifts if the parent-to-be wants to open them at the party.
When should baby shower invitations be sent?
Four weeks before the shower, with the registry link included and an RSVP date two weeks out, so food can be ordered against confirmed numbers.
How much food do I need for a baby shower of 20?
For a light lunch, about 160-200 savory pieces across five or six kinds, a cup of salad or fruit each, and 20 dessert servings plus a tray of small sweets.